Funny Stuff

Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Funny Stuff

Post by capn qwerty on Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:26 am

I got an e-mail this morning, and it contained this:

"1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking
places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do
drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America......do people order double
cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
.
10. Only in America......do they
have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on
mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the
headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long
word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why is it that to stop Windows
98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who
invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with
the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting,
who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two
mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that
stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?

------------------
In case you needed further proof
that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my
hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be
how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh,
a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not
iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(Oh now that's a shocker. )

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (what else are
you supposed to use it for?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning:
contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines
packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe,
uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I
don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've
smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to
someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words,
send it to everyone."

I thought it was funny, so I'm doing what it suggested and sharing it with people (namely, you guys).


Last edited by capn qwerty on Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
capn qwerty
capn qwerty
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2736
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Dustin on Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:31 am

the only in america one was fucking ROFL
Dustin
Dustin
Minion

Male Number of posts : 19
Age : 27
Location : salem oregon
Registration date : 2009-02-22

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Angatar on Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:30 pm

Wow. I'm surprised the parkway and driveway one wasn't on there.
Angatar
Angatar
Lord's Personal Minion

Female Number of posts : 3862
Age : 24
Location : Long Island
Registration date : 2008-07-18

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by capn qwerty on Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:54 pm

I can put it up there if you'll send it to me.
capn qwerty
capn qwerty
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2736
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Angatar on Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:28 pm

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Angatar
Angatar
Lord's Personal Minion

Female Number of posts : 3862
Age : 24
Location : Long Island
Registration date : 2008-07-18

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Gauz on Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:03 pm

Oh my god

lol! ROFL

This is hilarious! Warning: Do not attempt to stop the chain with hands or genitals...
Gauz
Gauz
Crimson Medic

Male Number of posts : 7687
Registration date : 2009-02-11

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by BBJynne on Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:00 pm

the last few about labels are old as hell...

I remember them from back when I lived in Wyoming >.>


still good though Very Happy

BBJynne
The Lord's Blood Knight

Male Number of posts : 5059
Age : 27
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Angatar on Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:28 pm

Stalker for hire. $10 a head, if you let me rape them, it's free. If it's a guy, I pay you.
Angatar
Angatar
Lord's Personal Minion

Female Number of posts : 3862
Age : 24
Location : Long Island
Registration date : 2008-07-18

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Gold Spartan on Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:41 pm

Epic win capn.
Gold Spartan
Gold Spartan
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 3405
Age : 24
Location : Kentucky, where else?
Registration date : 2008-03-24

http://www.fftu.info/forum/index.php?

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by CivBase on Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:41 pm

lol, seen most of them but they're still funny

_________________
Funny Stuff Bzsigy2
CivBase
CivBase
Adbot

Male Number of posts : 7336
Location : Etchisketchistan
Registration date : 2008-04-27

http://pathwaygames.forumotion.net/

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by capn qwerty on Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:59 pm

Here's a video I found.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avHyvn9pZp4&feature=related
Let the hilarity ensue.
capn qwerty
capn qwerty
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2736
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Ukurse on Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:25 pm

They do that in NZ
Ukurse
Ukurse
Minion

Male Number of posts : 1441
Age : 25
Location : Auckland, New Zealand
Registration date : 2009-01-12

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by CivBase on Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:01 pm

lol @ vid

_________________
Funny Stuff Bzsigy2
CivBase
CivBase
Adbot

Male Number of posts : 7336
Location : Etchisketchistan
Registration date : 2008-04-27

http://pathwaygames.forumotion.net/

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by A_Bearded_Swede on Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:13 pm

funny

_________________
Funny Stuff Skyrimr

Funny Stuff Ironmanl
.:Live Life, Love Life:.
A_Bearded_Swede
A_Bearded_Swede
Crimson Chef

Male Number of posts : 1743
Age : 27
Location : Jersey
Registration date : 2008-06-19

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Ascendant Justice on Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:27 pm

lol!
Ascendant Justice
Ascendant Justice
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2136
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-09-13

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Nocbl2 on Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:11 pm

alredy seen vid...
Nocbl2
Nocbl2
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 4814
Age : 20
Location : California
Registration date : 2009-03-18

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by kslidz on Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:37 pm


kslidz
Minion

Male Number of posts : 753
Age : 28
Location : your pants
Registration date : 2009-02-13

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Gauz on Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:03 pm

Im sure it is..
Gauz
Gauz
Crimson Medic

Male Number of posts : 7687
Registration date : 2009-02-11

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by capn qwerty on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:22 am

Wow. What a bunch of assholes (the guys in the video).
capn qwerty
capn qwerty
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2736
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by TNine on Sat Mar 28, 2009 7:04 pm

TNine
TNine
Minion

Male Number of posts : 1200
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-02-09

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Gauz on Sat Mar 28, 2009 7:52 pm

If you post one video, sure to follow, many more.

Common fact here.
Gauz
Gauz
Crimson Medic

Male Number of posts : 7687
Registration date : 2009-02-11

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by KristallNacht on Sat Mar 28, 2009 8:38 pm

I'm sure a lot of those last ones (the labels) are actually jokes by the packaging designers.


and you should have cut the black box thing out, since its so absolutely retarded to even ask that
KristallNacht
KristallNacht
Unholy Demon Of The Flame

Male Number of posts : 5087
Location : San Diego, California
Registration date : 2008-06-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by dragoon9105 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 8:41 pm

That Vid is stolen from NG (the halovscounterstrike one)... oh well its still funny as hell

"note to self.. dont grab it when you stick it"

"i gotta tell grandma to get broadband"
dragoon9105
dragoon9105
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2839
Registration date : 2009-02-25

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by capn qwerty on Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:57 am

KristallNacht wrote:I'm sure a lot of those last ones (the labels) are actually jokes by the packaging designers.


and you should have cut the black box thing out, since its so absolutely retarded to even ask that
Not every one know the answer to that, you know. And it does sort of fit with the rest of them.

BTW the reason is that the plane would be to heavy to fly.
capn qwerty
capn qwerty
Lord's Personal Minion

Male Number of posts : 2736
Age : 26
Registration date : 2008-03-24

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by JumpingJet on Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:20 am

Like i loved the america ones!
ROFL
JumpingJet
JumpingJet
Minion

Male Number of posts : 1269
Age : 25
Location : Leeds, UK
Registration date : 2009-03-22

Back to top Go down

Funny Stuff Empty Re: Funny Stuff

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum